Monday night I was driving home from work after having to close. Still getting over being sick, so I was pretty much exhausted after having to get back into the swing of things. The shift lead I get to work with is a country girl, so she kind of inspired me to listen to Garth Brooks.
I grew up in Texas. Country music is just a part of who I am, it’s my roots. My first concert ever was a Garth Brooks concert too; it was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.
One of my dearest memories, though, came to mind while I was cruising down the road in my father’s old 1994 Cadillac. The thing’s a beast. It’s old, huge, comfortable, and the safest thing I could ever drive right now. “In Another’s Eyes” by Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood came on. When my father and I took our road trip in the summer of 2003, we would sing in the car to all sorts of country music and old rock.
The song is totally inappropriate in context for a kid of eleven or twelve, but singing with my dad in a duet was all I ever thought about. He was always so proud of me singing, of me using my God given talent.
I burst into tears on my home. My parents just recently moved back down to Texas and I chose to stay here and try and make a life with my other half. I wanted to see if I could survive without them. Sometimes I feel like I can. Other times, I feel the trepidation of growing up creeping into me.
I never knew how much I loved my parents until they moved away. For the past ten years I’ve had them to myself. Now I let my sister have them. I try and call my mother all of the time. Some times it’s painful, though. I miss her. She’s been my rock for the last decade, always there, always willing to give me a hug, listen to me bitch and cry, push me up when I fall. It wasn’t always like that though. It took me hitting rock bottom to really begin to appreciate her. I wish I hadn’t wasted the time I had with her when I was trying to get my head out of my butt.
My father is an all together different beast of his own. I have always been my father’s little girl. I haven’t always made him proud though, and we’ve butted heads a lot since I started getting older. I think I disappointed him a lot while in Richmond. I made some really stupid, screwed up mistakes. I think now I’m making mostly right decisions. I think he’s proud of me now.
It’s funny though. We always laugh about cliches and how they just can’t possibly relate to our lives. We’re all wrong. My parents have always been extremely important to me, but I didn’t realize how blessed I was to have them until they moved back to Texas.
I hope I can keep making them proud of me and I hope I can live up to my potential. It’s a hard road ahead of me and I know that it’s going to push me to my limit. I’m not a patient person. When I want things and I know I’m capable of having them, I want them now. Now. NOW.
Only time will tell what’s out there for me.